The Family Plan
The Family Plan is a 2023 American action comedy film directed by Simon Cellan Jones and written by David Coggeshall. Produced by Apple Studios, Skydance Media, and Mark Wahlberg’s Municipal Pictures, it stars Wahlberg as a suburban car salesman who goes on the run with his unsuspecting family when his secret past as a government assassin is exposed.
Michelle Monaghan, Zoe Colletti, Van Crosby, Saïd Taghmaoui, Maggie Q, and Ciarán Hinds also star.
At the end of 2022, production began. The film was released by Apple TV+ on December 15, 2023. It received generally negative reviews, but became most-viewed on the platform for a brief time.
Plot
Dan Morgan, an ex-assassin who works as a car salesman, lives quietly in the Buffalo suburbs with his wife Jessica and their three kids; teens Nina and Kyle, and infant Max. Dan is content with his low-key life and dislikes violence, tech, and social media. Meanwhile, Jessica yearns for more spontaneity and excitement.
Dan and Jessica attend an amusement park for their anniversary. He has a confrontation when someone purposely takes a selfie with them kissing in the background as a joke, then posts it on social media. Dan walks away, refusing to engage in a fight. Soon after, Dan is attacked in a supermarket while shopping with Max but easily defeats the highly trained attacker. Afterward, Dan contacts his former associate, Augie, to find out why it happened. He suggests it is Dan’s former employer, McCaffrey, and advises Dan to disappear.
Realizing the carnival photo outed him, Dan orders new fake passports for him and his family from Augie. He tells Jessica from work, Kyle from a shady gaming establishment where he is a well-known gaming streamer, and Nina from school that they are going on a spontaneous road trip to Las Vegas, where he will meet Augie to get their new identification cards. As they’re leaving town, Dan realizes they’re being followed; therefore, their minivan must have a tracker on it.
At work, he uses a service bay to find and remove it from the undercarriage. Meanwhile, McCaffrey and his team search the Morgans’ home but can’t find their destination, as Dan has covered their tracks. He drives through the night until reaching Iowa City. Excited, Nina begs them to visit Southern Iowa University as she hopes to follow her boyfriend Trevor there rather than pursue her original goal of attending Stanford.
Dan shows her how to use martial arts moves against Trevor after she discovers that he is cheating on her. Dan fights another of McCaffery’s assassins on a campus tour and incapacitates him in a chemistry lab before reuniting with his family. As they travel, the family grows closer. Arriving in Vegas, Dan plans to tell Jessica the truth over a romantic dinner.
The teens are to babysit Max in their penthouse suite, but instead they go down to the HyperX gaming arena in the hotel. McCaffrey’s team attacks Dan and Jessica when they return to their suite to check on the kids. He quickly kills them, shocking Jessica. Heading to HyperX to retrieve the kids, a shootout ensues, and the family witnesses Dan kill more assassins.
Dan finally tells his family, who are appalled by his deception, that his real name is Sean. He nevertheless gives them their new IDs, telling them that their lives in Buffalo are over, but Jessica takes the kids and leaves the next morning, believing they aren’t in danger if they leave Dan.
She calls Gwen, a travel agent who just met her, and she offers to fly them home. On the private jet, Gwen reveals she works for McCaffrey and is Dan’s ex-girlfriend, whom she is angry at for leaving. delivering Jessica and her children to McCaffery, who holds them hostage in a run-down hotel. McCaffrey, who is revealed to be Dan’s father, threatens to kill them unless Dan accepts his offer to rejoin his team and have no contact with his family.
Jessica and the children are scheduled to return home once Dan gives in. Jessica and the kids escape after Jessica kills their escort, and they return for Dan. McCaffrey calls his army into the hotel to kill him. Dan engages the mercenaries, with Kyle helping with a drone. Jessica fights Gwen, culminating in Jessica fatally impaling Gwen with a piece of broken bamboo thrown as a javelin from her track and field experience.
They head downstairs, where Nina distracts McCaffrey from killing Dan, giving Dan time to knock McCaffrey out, who is taken into custody, while Dan reconciles with his family.
Dan now runs a security company that teaches clients how to better defend themselves against attacks, and Jessica coaches high school track and field. The Morgans return to Buffalo. They load up a rented RV to embark on a cross-country road trip to take Nina to Stanford.
Cast
Credit – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Family_Plan#Cast
- Mark Wahlberg as Dan Morgan, a car salesman and former covert assassin
- Michelle Monaghan as Jessica Morgan, Dan’s wife who was a former decathlete
- Ciarán Hinds as McCaffrey, a commander of covert assassins who are pursuing the Morgans, as well as Dan’s former employer
- Zoe Colletti as Nina Morgan, Dan and Jessica’s daughter and eldest child
- Van Crosby as Kyle Morgan, Dan and Jessica’s middle child
- Maggie Q as Gwen, an acquaintance of Jessica revealed to be in employ of McCaffrey
- Joyner Lucas as Coogan, McCaffrey’s henchman
- Kellen Boyle as Cyrus, McCaffrey’s henchman
- Felicia Pearson as Toothpick, McCaffrey’s henchman
- Lateef Crowder dos Santos as Neck Tattoo, McCaffrey’s henchman
- Miles Doleac as Gold Chain, a German tourist
- Jonny Coyne as Spiros, McCaffrey’s henchman
- Saïd Taghmaoui as Augie, an associate of Dan who deals fake identities
- Valkyrae as herself
What do we think?
Alright, let’s crank the dial up to eleven and dive back into “The Family Man” with a review so bursting with heart, humor, and humanity it’ll feel like I’m sitting on your couch, waving a slice of pizza, and gushing about this movie like it’s my new best friend. Picture this: it’s 2000, the Y2K bug didn’t end the world, and Nicolas Cage is serving up a performance so wild and soulful it’s like he’s channeling every midlife crisis, Christmas miracle, and suburban dad meltdown all at once.
This movie, directed by Brett Ratner, is a glittery, snow-dusted fever dream that takes you from Wall Street’s penthouse parties to the chaotic, beautiful mess of a New Jersey cul-de-sac. It’s like the universe decided to prank a rich guy with a heart of gold and accidentally made him—and us—fall in love with life all over again.
So, grab a mug of spiked eggnog, pretend we’re swapping stories by a crackling fire, and let’s get into why “The Family Man” is the cinematic equivalent of a bear hug from your favorite uncle who smells faintly of pinecones and regret.
Let’s start with Nic Cage, because this man is a national treasure, and I’m not talking about his Indiana Jones-esque movie of the same name. As Jack Campbell, he’s a Wall Street shark swimming in a sea of caviar and ego, rocking suits so sharp they could cut glass and a Ferrari that purrs like it’s flirting with him. Jack’s got the kind of life where his biggest worry is whether his latte’s foam art is Instagram-worthy (okay, Instagram wasn’t a thing in 2000, but you get the vibe).
He’s got no family, no pets, just a penthouse that looks like it was designed by a robot with a fetish for chrome. But then, in a plot twist that feels like Charles Dickens and Nora Ephron had a baby, Jack wakes up on Christmas morning in a parallel universe where he’s not a lone wolf but a dad, husband, and tire salesman. Yes, tire salesman. It’s like the cosmos looked at Jack’s life and said, “Bro, you need a reality check, and here’s a minivan to deliver it.”
The sheer absurdity of Jack’s new life is where the movie’s humor kicks into high gear. Imagine trading your penthouse for a house with a leaky faucet, your designer loafers for sneakers caked in toddler goo, and your high-stakes deals for… well, selling tires. Cage plays this like a caffeinated hamster on a wheel, all wide-eyed panic and flailing limbs. There’s this one scene where he’s trying to change a diaper, and it’s like watching a bomb squad rookie defuse a nuclear warhead with a paperclip.
The baby’s winning, Jack’s losing, and I’m cackling so hard I nearly choked on my popcorn. But it’s not just slapstick—it’s the kind of humor that comes from watching someone so out of their depth they might as well be scuba diving in a kiddie pool. When Jack tries to swagger into his old Wall Street office, still thinking he’s Gordon Gekko, only to get bounced out by security like a sad puppy, it’s both hilarious and a little heartbreaking. We’ve all been that guy, thinking we’re hot stuff until life hands us a reality check wrapped in a onesie.
Téa Leoni as Kate, Jack’s college sweetheart turned wife in this alternate reality, is the sun this movie orbits around. She’s not just the “dream girl” cliché—she’s a firecracker with a law degree, a laugh that could melt glaciers, and a knack for making suburban chaos look like an art form. Leoni’s Kate is the kind of woman who can wrangle a screaming toddler, argue a legal case, and still make you feel like you’re the only person in the room when she smiles.
Her chemistry with Cage is so raw and real it’s like they’ve been married for a decade, complete with the kind of bickering that’s half-annoyed, half-foreplay. There’s a moment where they’re in the kitchen, surrounded by dirty dishes and kid toys, and Kate’s teasing Jack about his terrible coffee-making skills. It’s so lived-in, so perfectly imperfect, you’ll want to crawl into the screen and join them for breakfast (even if the coffee’s bad).
The comedy in “The Family Man” is like a perfectly timed fart in a quiet room—unexpected, a little embarrassing, and impossible not to laugh at. Take the scene where Jack’s trying to impress his tire-shop boss with his Wall Street bravado, tossing around terms like “synergy” and “ROI” like he’s closing a merger.
The boss, played with deadpan brilliance by Harve Presnell, just blinks at him like, “Buddy, we’re selling Michelins, not launching a tech startup.” It’s the kind of cringe that makes you laugh and wince at the same time. Or when Jack’s daughter, Annie, a tiny sage with pigtails, casually calls him out for acting like an alien in her dad’s body. “You’re not my dad, are you?” she says, and I swear I spit out my drink. It’s the unfiltered honesty of kids that makes you want to adopt a whole kindergarten just to hear their hot takes on life.
But the real genius of this movie is how it sneaks in profound, gut-punch truths while you’re busy laughing at Jack’s suburban meltdown. Don Cheadle as Cash, the angel/convenience store clerk who flips Jack’s life upside down, is like a cosmic prankster with a PhD in tough love. He’s got this sly grin, like he knows Jack’s about to learn something and he’s gonna enjoy watching him squirm.
Cheadle’s performance is so understated yet magnetic, you almost wish he’d narrate your life with that same mischievous wisdom. The kids, too, are little MVPs. Annie (Makenzie Vega) is a pint-sized philosopher who sees through Jack’s nonsense, and baby Josh is a drooling chaos agent who somehow makes you want to sniff every baby’s head in a ten-mile radius. They’re not just props—they’re the heartbeat of this alternate life, showing Jack (and us) what really matters.
At its core, “The Family Man” is a love story that doesn’t just tug at your heartstrings—it yanks them like they’re bungee cords. It’s about Jack and Kate, sure, but it’s also about loving the life you didn’t choose. The movie asks, “What’s the good life? The corner office or the messy kitchen table?” It doesn’t shame Jack for wanting the penthouse life, but it shows him the magic in the ordinary—the late-night talks with Kate, the kid snuggles, the way a snowy New Jersey street feels like a hug from the universe.
There’s this scene where Jack and Kate are lying in bed, whispering about their dreams, and it’s so intimate you feel like you’re intruding. Cage’s face, usually so wild and meme-worthy, softens into something so vulnerable it’s like he’s baring his soul. It’s the moment Jack realizes this “glimpse” of a life with Kate and the kids is worth more than all the Ferraris in the world.
The Christmas vibe is the cherry on this sundae of a movie. The twinkling lights, the tacky sweaters, the way the suburbs feel like a snow globe you want to live in—it’s pure holiday magic without being saccharine. The script, by David Diamond and David Weissman, is a tightrope walk of humor, heart, and just enough existential dread to keep it real.
One minute you’re laughing at Jack’s attempt to grill steaks in a snowstorm, the next you’re sobbing because he’s realizing this life might slip away. The pacing’s not perfect—sometimes Jack’s whining about his minivan feels like it lasts longer than a DMV line—but the flaws just make it more human, like a Christmas ornament that’s a little chipped but still your favorite.
And the ending? Oh, honey, bring the tissues. I won’t ruin it, but it’s like the movie takes your heart, gives it a gentle squeeze, and then hands it back with a note that says, “Go live your life, you goof.” It’s hopeful, bittersweet, and leaves you wanting to call your mom, your best friend, your high school crush, and tell them you love them.
“The Family Man” is a reminder that life’s not about the shiny stuff—it’s about the people who make you laugh when you’re covered in baby spit, the ones who stay up late arguing over who forgot to take out the trash, the ones who make the ordinary feel like a miracle.
So, if you’re looking for a movie that’s equal parts hilarious, heartfelt, and human, “The Family Man” is your jam. It’s Nic Cage at his most lovably unhinged, Téa Leoni at her most radiant, and a story that’ll make you laugh till your sides hurt and cry till your mascara runs. It’s like a warm blanket, a belly laugh, and a life lesson all rolled into one.
Watch it with someone you love, or just your dog, and let it remind you that the best things in life aren’t the ones you can buy—they’re the ones who steal your pizza and call you out when you’re being a dork.
People Review
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